On the fourth night of the fifth month of the fourteenth year of the twenty-first century, anno domini,
on the grounds of Somerville College, the Somerville Jesus Triennial Ball Committee will host
The Last Ball; one last night of decadence, debauchery, and indulgence.
Guests will be requested to attend to the standards of black-tie dress.
White tie permitted, though less appropriate for the night’s offerings.
The Last Ball will begin at eight o’clock in the evening, and the last
guest will walk out the gate of Somerville at six o’clock in the morning.